


The Red Ribbon

by waitingforwonhui



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, M/M, Post-Break Up, Post-Canon, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:35:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27509950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforwonhui/pseuds/waitingforwonhui
Summary: It's been 7 years since Seventeen's contract expired.Not everyone has re-signed. Not everyone has kept in touch.But they meet again for one last dinner in the house they loved so much.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Wen Jun Hui | Jun
Comments: 22
Kudos: 123





	The Red Ribbon

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!!! one of the members (not wonhui) is dead from the beginning of this story, the fic doesn't revolve around this but i thought i should mention if you don't want to read anything like that; no other warnings apply :)
> 
> i hope you enjoy reading! :)

Junhui is nervous when his taxi pulls up in front of the black painted metal doors of the main gate to the house. He has been here so many times before but everything looks a little different. And how could it not? It's been more than seven years since the last time he came to the secluded house Jihoon bought for them halfway through their sixth year as a group.

Junhui remembers how pent up everyone was around that time. There comes a time in the idol life where nothing feels fresh anymore. The music shows are the same, the recording studio always feels the same, every album release, the same journalists, the same variety shows. Even their dorms stayed pretty much the same ever since they got three apartments and everyone had their own room.

It was a weird time, for lack of a better word. The company had them push as many albums, subunit and even solo member releases as possible. Everyone was slightly agitated at best and worryingly anxious at worst. And on top of all, the end of their contract was approaching. They had a silent agreement not to talk about the elephant in the room until it was absolutely necessary but it was obvious that not everyone was on the same page. 

At the height of it all, Jihoon bought this house. Technically, it was his house but it always felt more like their weekend escape resort. They knew he bought it for them. To get away at least for a day or two every now and then. To spend a weekend as people, as _friends_ and not just workplace colleagues. 

The house is located just half an hour outside of Seoul, in a somewhat secluded and clearly wealthy neighbourhood in the hills. They have neighbours but they can't really see or hear them. There are fences and greenery and it's absolutely beautiful and enormous in size. Six bedrooms as far as Junhui remembers.

And he remembers a lot. Especially, the older members would come to the house more often and just hang out and play games. He cooked for them so many times in the modern, high-tech kitchen on the ground floor. They would drink and talk and, eventually, spend the night there before they had to return to their hectic schedules in the city, usually the very next day.

Junhui doesn't know how often the others met here after he left. He doesn't know the details of the timeline for how this house was used. What he knows is that Jihoon and Soonyoung ended up moving there permanently. Even though they both re-signed the contract and still worked in the entertainment industry anyway, they chose to make this house their home and travel half an hour back and forth to work. Junhui knows they stayed there all the way until Jihoon's tragic accident.

He doesn't blame Soonyoung for wanting to sell it. He can't even imagine how it must feel for him to even be in the house alone. As far as Junhui knows, Soonyoung moved back to the city about a year ago. Bought an apartment not too far away from the company. He doesn't know if he's been in the house at all since it happened.

But that is why Junhui finds himself there that day. It was important enough for him to take a flight from China to be here with them one last time before the house goes up for sale. It's only the second time that he has come back to Korea in the seven years since he left. To say goodbye to Jihoon about a year and a half ago. And now to say goodbye to his house. A place that holds more dear memories than Junhui could even begin to list in his head.

He rings the doorbell and waits. He doesn't know what to expect or who will be there to greet him. They were all invited but obviously, not everyone can make it. Some of them are not even in the country. Junhui had to take a flight as well, just to have a dinner. 

"Oh my god," Seungkwan's eyes widen in surprise when he opens the door and it brings an instant smile to Junhui's face. "Moon Junnie!"

"Hey," he offers in response.

" _Moon Junnie!_ " Seungkwan repeats louder and literally jumps at him to hug him around his neck. 

"Did you say Junnie?" He hears Mingyu's voice from somewhere behind Seunkwang. And sure enough, the still tall, still stunning man comes out around the corner. "It _is_ him!"

And Mingyu, too, speedily walks up to the front door and pushes Seungkwan - who shoots him an unamused look - aside to give Junhui a bone-crushing hug. 

"It's nice to see you guys," Junhui presses out with what little air was not squeezed out of him by Mingyu's tight grip around his chest. 

"We didn't know you were coming," Seungkwan throws in.

"I told you I would come," Junhui lets out when Mingyu lets go of him. He doesn't say it to Seungkwan but to Soonyoung who appears behind him leaning on the door frame.

And Soonyoung chuckles. "Yeah, but I didn't tell _them_."

He earns himself a swat from Seungkwan before he, too, comes over to hug Junhui and greet him. 

"Come on in," Soonyoung adds with a shake of his head. "They didn't even let you inside the house."

They walk him to the living room that he knows just too well. The house still looks pretty much the same on the inside, give or take a couple decor items that have been added over the years. There are more pictures of them. Mostly, Jihoon and Soonyoung. But there's also a framed poster of the whole group from one of their last albums as thirteen members. It brings a smile to Junhui's face.

They ask about his flight and his schedule and how he made the time to come there and Junhui realises that it's been way too long. It's been longer than necessary. He probably could have made more time for them here and there. Especially, in the last two or three years since he became well-established in the Chinese entertainment industry. He probably could've done better as a friend. But he didn't. He can't help but have regrets.

It was around 3 PM when he arrived and over the next three hours, Chan joins the group as well, followed by Seungcheol and Jeonghan who arrive together. They're all equally surprised and happy to see him.

By the time dinner is served and everyone has found their seat in the dining room, they have caught-up on almost all of the other members' whereabouts.

"Oh, before I forget," Junhui calls out before he sits down to eat. "Minghao has sent a couple of bottles of his wine. He says he's sorry he couldn't join but his new clothing line is launching next week, so there's just way too much work right now. I'll go grab the wine."

"Oh yes," Mingyu exclaims. "I wanted to try it for so long but he couldn't send me any due to some legal issues with shipping alcohol across the border. Is it any good?"

"You tell me," Junhui answers when he comes back with a bottle of red. "I don't know anything about wine. But it's Minghao, so it's probably extraordinary."

He rolls his eyes and everyone laughs.

"You're right," Mingyu adds.

They toast with Minghao's wine and the verdict is that it's excellent. Junhui feels proud even though he had nothing to do with the beverage, except for being the one who delivered it. 

Junhui finds out that Seokmin can't be there because he is working on a musical and they have a show that night. He sends them a voice message wishing them a nice evening and asking to do it again soon so that he could join as well.

Jisoo and Hansol are in the US, not together. Not even nearly in the same place but obviously, it would have been a bigger hassle for either of them to take a plane from the states than it was for Junhui to do it from Beijing.

The rest of them are there, except for one person. But Junhui can't make himself ask. Surely, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. He's curious. He's allowed to be curious. Wonwoo is the person he knows the least about his current circumstances, which is ironic, to say the least. 

He hasn't talked to him in a little over six years. He's seen him at Jihoon's funeral, of course. But they didn't talk. No one was in the mood to discuss anything at the time and Junhui could only stay for the ceremony anyway due to work. He had to fly to Changsha right after. 

He has talked to the others every now and then over the years. But he never dared to ask about Wonwoo. Especially, not in later years. He didn't think he had the right to it. Not after he left. Not after they broke up over the phone with more than 2000 kilometres of distance between them. 

Junhui has seen his face in Korean dramas and movies. Some of which have become such great hits even in China that Junhui would turn on the TV and see Wonwoo's face on several channels. He always knew Wonwoo had what it took to be a great actor.

But that's all he knows. More or less where Wonwoo's career went. Nothing about his private life, his family, his relationships. Not even how he stands with the other guys. Probably well. They're all still very much a part of each other's lives. 

Even now, while poking around in his food. He contemplates whether to ask about Wonwoo or not.

He doesn't have to because the front door opens and closes and soon afterwards, there's Wonwoo's voice. "Sorry, I'm late," he shouts before they can even see him. "The company sent me on a last-minute audition for this-"

Wonwoo's words get stuck in his throat when he enters the dining room and he sees Junhui.

"Hey," he says instead.

"Hi," Junhui offers weakly.

"Oh, did I mention that Junnie is here?" Soonyoung throws in with his mouth full of food.

"No, you didn't," Wonwoo answers but doesn't avert his gaze from Junhui even for a second.

"Well, he's here!" Soonyoung exclaims. 

"I can see that."

It's awkward. 

Junhui wants to look away but he can't. He's not quite sure if it's because he's just too surprised to see him or because he thinks he owes that much to Wonwoo. He can feel the others' eyes shift from Wonwoo to Junhui and back again. As if they're all waiting for something to happen. He can feel the amusement on their faces but he doesn't know what to do.

He knows that his insides have decided to do cartwheels in his stomach. He knows that his knees have become weak. His hands cold. His throat dry. But he doesn't know what to say.

"How are you?" Wonwoo smiles but it's still a little awkward. Even when he walks around the table to give him a small hug. The opposite of how Mingyu had hugged him just hours ago. 

"Uh, I'm fine," Junhui answers with an equally unsettling smile when he sits down again. "And you?"

"Can't complain."

At the head of the table, Jeonghan inhales audibly then breathes out a laugh. "Well, that was not awkward at all!"

"Don't be mean," Seungcheol says with a warm smile. "It's really nice to have so many of us together tonight."

Wonwoo finds a seat near Jeonghan at the other side of the table. Nowhere near Junhui and he can't help but feel sad but also relieved by that. The tension will wear down eventually. Junhui has to trust in that. 

And sure enough, it wears down quite quickly when all of them start telling each other stories and anecdotes of their lives. They didn't have this much to catch up on back in the days because all of their lives were stacked up on top of each other. They used to be together all the time. They had the same schedules and went through the same experiences. 

Now, everyone is doing something else. Even though most of them have remained in the entertainment industry - some of them even still in association with Seventeen - they all have different gigs, different lifestyles, different things to tell. 

Junhui doesn't feel too comfortable talking about his achievements ever since he left the company. Not even with them. But everyone wants to know since he has made quite a name for himself having even starred in two Hollywood productions. 

"I met up with Jisoo a lot when I was working in LA last year," he recounts. "That was nice."

"Ah yes, we've been to his house last summer," Seungcheol informs. "Jeonghan didn't want to leave again."

"Nope," Jeonghan says in a nostalgic voice. "It was always warm and peaceful. And the pool and the patio... I could've stayed there forever."

They all laugh and talk and toast over and over again until Junhui has to open a second bottle of Minghao's wine.

"Okay, this is where I have to pass," Mingyu says putting a hand over the top of his glass when Junhui wants to pour him more. "I have to catch a 6 AM flight to Paris tomorrow."

"Paris?" 

"Fashion week," he simply states. 

"Oh la la," Seungkwan throws in with a little shimmy of his shoulders. 

"Yeah, so I will have to get an Uber back to the city very soon," Mingyu adds. "But this was really nice. Thank you, Soonyoung."

Soonyoung just nods in his direction.

"Can we share an Uber?" Seungkwan throws in over the table. "I have to be at KBS tomorrow early, so I can't stay overnight either."

"You can both come with me," Chan offers. "I'm here with my car and I only had one glass."

"Oh, that would be great." Seungkwan claps his hands together.

"Thank you," Mingyu says with a tap on Chan's shoulder.

"You're not staying either?" Soonyoung asks with furrowed eyebrows.

"I promised I will be back home before midnight," Chan explains.

"Ah yes." Soonyoung turns to Junhui. "Our Channie is engaged now."

"What? You didn't think that was important to mention? Congratulations!"

"Thanks, hyung." Chan chuckles in response. "You have to come to the wedding next summer. Promise!"

"Of course, I'll come to your wedding," Junhui exclaims almost insulted that Chan would think he would miss that. "I wouldn't miss it for the world! Besides, I have more free time nowadays anyway."

"You do?" Wonwoo's voice cuts through all of the other noises.

Junhui looks up and meets his eyes. They're serious but not demanding. "Uh yeah, at this point in my career, I can pretty much pick and choose..."

"That's nice," Wonwoo says and grabs the bottle of wine to pour in another glass for himself. 

"Yes, it is," Junhui says quietly. 

* * *

When Mingyu, Seungkwan and Chan leave, they clean up the table and move to the living room. Soonyoung lights the fireplace and they all sit together on the three satin couches that are arranged around a large coffee table.

"Where's Hansol right now?" Junhui asks into the round as he puts his glass down on the table again.

"New York," Seungcheol answers. "He travels back and forth all the time since he works with artists here and in the states."

"That's really cool." Junhui smiles to himself. "I always knew he would make it as a producer anywhere."

"He's really good," Jeonghan agrees as he lays down on Soonyoung's lap next to him.

"How's Seungkwan coping with him not being there all the time?"

Jeonghan scoffs. "They're always the same."

"Yeah," Wonwoo adds. "Hansol stays with him whenever he's in Seoul and Seungkwan sulks and mops around whenever he leaves."

"But they swear it's just friendship." Soonyoung laughs and shakes his head.

"Still?" Junhui inquires with an incredulous tone.

"Some things never change," Wonwoo says and looks at him. Junhui doesn't want to indulge in the thoughts that make him believe it could mean more than it does.

They talk and laugh until Jeonghan falls asleep on a pillow on Soonyoung's lap and Seungcheol decides to call it a night and carry him to his bedroom. Eventually, they all leave one by one until there's only Junhui and Wonwoo left. On opposite couches. Giggling over glasses of Minghao's ridiculously delicious wine. 

"Come here," Wonwoo says with a grin and an unfamiliar shy demeanour. He taps on the empty spot next to him. "It's weird with only two people and this huge ass table in the middle."

Junhui chuckles. He's right. It feels weird. Although, he can't say if it would feel weird with anyone else. But with Wonwoo, one table is way too much distance. So, he walks around it and drops down next to Wonwoo, leaning sideways on the back of the couch. Legs folded half underneath him, half next to him. It makes it easier to look at him like this and Wonwoo turns around as well.

"Long time no see, huh?" Junhui says and they both break out in laughter. It's probably just the wine. Junhui is definitely tipsy and Wonwoo doesn't look better either. 

"You could say that." He giggles in response.

And then Junhui's heart speeds up as if he had just finished a workout or seen a ghost. Because they look at each other and not just the way two people look at each other on any normal day. 

Wonwoo's eyes are glazed with fondness. The kind of look he used to have on his face when they were still together. When Junhui would just look at him and melt. And he melts now too. Because it's not just eye-contact when they look at each other. Just how silence is not just silence with Wonwoo. They never needed words to understand what the other thought. Now too, Junhui knows that Wonwoo is not just looking at him because they're the only ones left. He's looking _at him_. 

"You know," Wonwoo starts and gulps. "You aged better than Minghao's wine."

Junhui laughs again. 

"I mean it," Wonwoo insists. He brings a hand up and Junhui's laughter gets stuck in his throat. Wonwoo runs a finger down the bridge of his nose until he reaches the tip and Junhui doesn't want any more distance between them. They should always be touching. Always. 

So, he grabs Wonwoo's hand just before it disappears from his face and holds it with both of his own. The tips of Wonwoo's fingers are cold. He always used to get cold easily and Junhui smiles at the thought that some things just never change. He hopes that other things haven't changed either and leans in when Wonwoo's engulfed hand pulls him a little closer.

He doesn't know if he's dreaming or not. He's been in similar situations in his dreams before. At various stages over the years that they've been apart. But a part of him never thought that Wonwoo would ever let him back this close. Not after he left. Not with the way he did it. 

But there they are. Faces so close that the next step seems almost inevitable. He can smell the wine where their breaths meet. He can feel the warmth of another body on his cheek. It just takes one of them to have courage. To dare.

And Wonwoo does. He leans in fast and closes the distance. He closes his eyes too. So much so that his forehead wrinkles. It's almost painful to kiss again. Almost too much of exactly the right thing. Because Junhui always knew they were _right._ There's no better word to sum it up. 

_ They are supposed to be. _

But he never dared to dream that they could be together again. He never let himself down that rabbit hole of wishful thinking when it came to him and Wonwoo. He wasn't allowed to.

Wonwoo's kisses taste different and the same. It's hard to explain. It's a little like eating your favourite childhood candy after many years. You think you remember the taste very well but once you have it again, it's just more intense. It brings back all the best of memories. Hits all the right spots. It melts in your mouth just like Junhui melts in the arm that wraps around his middle and pulls him in to straddle Wonwoo on the couch.

He doesn't know how much thought Wonwoo put into this. Or if perhaps, they should talk first but Junhui can't make himself stop. If Wonwoo wanted to stop and talk, he would go along with it but until then Junhui kisses Wonwoo on his lap in Jihoon's old house where they used to do this so many times.

"I will make a bold suggestion," Wonwoo says slightly out of breath when they pull apart for a second. "You can say no-"

"I won't," Junhui answers, equally dishevelled.

It makes Wonwoo chuckle. "You didn't hear the question."

"I'll still say yes."

"Your bed or mine?"

"Mine is closer. And further from the others."

Wonwoo laughs.

With his back on the bed and his shirt pulled up ever so slightly, it feels just too good to have Wonwoo's hands all over his torso. Wonwoo's lips at his navel travelling up up up.

It's been a while since Junhui had made love. He had sex, alright. But this is not just sex. He doesn't remember ever having had just sex with Wonwoo. Even now, in a place of in-between, where he doesn't really know what they are to each other, he knows one thing for sure: they are making love.

It doesn't take long for both of them to be fully naked and Junhui can feel Wonwoo everywhere. He feels his hot kisses on his chest, and his torso and his body pressing against his own. He catches himself wishing never to feel anything else at all. How great would it be to have this moment continue? How painful is it to know they would eventually have to break apart? Even if just for a moment. Even if just for the night.

He remembers all the times when they had to sneak around back in the days. They had their secret code as to not let the others know what they were doing or that they were even together. In retrospect, it wasn’t that secret. They probably knew.

But whenever one of them would go to bed a little earlier and wanted the other to come to his room as well, he’d “go to sleep”. He’d turn the lights off in his room but leave the door just slightly open. 

Whenever Junhui saw the door to Wonwoo’s room open but the lights turned off, he knew that it was left like that for him. To join him. To be together.

Other times when it wasn’t even night, they would put a red ribbon around the door handle from the outside. They kept that ribbon for years. If Junhui remembers correctly, it came with a birthday cake many years before that and he took it because he found it pretty. He never thought that one day it would carry so much more meaning.

But he forgets all about the ribbon and the past when Wonwoo moves on top of him the way he does. Making him feel like a puddle of lust.

When they finish, Wonwoo lays his head face down on the pillow next to Junhui who remains on his back.

"Thank you," Junhui breathes out in an attempt to express his feelings.

He hears a chuckle and Wonwoo's head turns to face him. "What?"

"I don't know."

"You thanked me."

"I thought it was appropriate."

And Wonwoo breaks into laughter so much so that his nose scrunches and his eyes shut entirely. Junhui always thought Wonwoo was most adorable when he laughed. He thinks it now too.

"You're welcome, I guess," Wonwoo eventually replies.

He kisses him again. A little softer now. Without the pressure of years of distance or the awkward ignorance of an unexpected reunion. Junhui expected to reunite in the house, alright. Not in the bed.

Wonwoo's mouth leaves his own just to press his lips against his cheek again. "How did you become even more beautiful, Junnie?"

And Junhui scoffs. "Please."

"I mean it."

"Maybe you just had forgotten what I looked like?"

"Impossible."

"How come?"

"Your face has left a deep impression on me, Wen Junhui," Wonwoo says with a small peck to Junhui's lips. "I don't know how many lifetimes it would take to forget it."

Junhui can feel his heart flutter. He can't say anything. Instead, he just smiles and stares into the other's eyes.

"Besides," Wonwoo continues. "Your face is literally everywhere. Brands, the TV, our company, any old Seventeen album or poster... do you know how weird it is to have your ex's face all over your parents' house?"

Junhui can't help but laugh at that. "If it makes you feel any better, your pictures are all over my parents' house too... and not just in the context of Seventeen. My mother has a literal portrait of you framed in the living room."

Now it's Wonwoo's turn to chuckle. "But why?"

Junhui shrugs. "She always says you're her third son and that we would end up together anyway-"

The smile on Wonwoo's face disappears quickly. So does his body that was lazily leaning on Junhui just seconds ago.

"I'm sorry," Junhui lets out by some weird instinct.

Wonwoo clears his throat before he replies, "What for?"

"I- I don't know... I just felt like I said something wrong..."

"No it's fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah... maybe I should go back to my own bedroom."

"Wonwoo," Junhui probes. He's not quite sure what words to choose. "You can stay here."

"I don't think it's the best idea." Wonwoo gets up from the bed and puts on his underwear, then his pants. He takes his shirt and stands there half-dressed for a moment as if weighing his words as well.

"I'm sorry but I don't get it," Junhui lets out instead. "Why are you so weird all of a sudden?"

"You didn't come to stay, did you?"

Wonwoo looks on the floor before he lifts his gaze to make eye-contact. Junhui almost wishes he didn't.

"What?"

"You're leaving again, right?"

"Well, I have to... I'm shooting a movie-"

"There you go." With that, Wonwoo walks a couple more steps towards the door.

"I can come back... more often..." Junhui's voice is small, barely above a whisper.

"You said that the last time."

"I didn't have a choice-"

"But you did," Wonwoo interrupts him. "You chose the shoot, the brand deal, the filming over and over again."

"Wonwoo, that's not fair."

"I know," Wonwoo says a little louder this time. He instantly looks as if he regrets it. "I don't blame you for it. I really don't but it hurt to be left behind. You can't blame me for not wanting to have my heart broken again."

He looks down again and Junhui feels a lump build in his throat. This can't be how this evening ends? Surely not.

"I had chosen you forever." Wonwoo's gaze lifts off the floor to meet Junhui's blinking pair of eyes. "There was a time where I would've risked it all for you. Come out... my image, my career, my family... everything. You were my day-moon in a dark winter then. But now when I look back, it all feels like a flashing light resembling love at best. I don't know how much was real and how much was wishful thinking."

Junhui smiles. He missed the way Wonwoo talked. 

Wonwoo has a way with words. Even when his words hurt. He could love so well. He could hurt so beautifully.

But Junhui hurt him with actions. Big actions. Which one's worse?

"Of course it was real," he offers as an afterthought. "What we had was real."

Junhui pauses. He clears his throat. "If I'm perfectly honest, I've never regretted not re-signing the contract back then. With everything that was going on... you just have to understand that was the right decision for me-"

"I know."

"But I did regret losing you..." Junhui's voice is too small to accomplish anything. As he often does, now too, he finds himself wishing he could speak up like he does when he's in a role. Like the male lead in a conventional drama.

But Junhui's voice shrinks with every word until it's entirely devoured by the crippling silence that quickly sets in the room.

"You did?" Wonwoo's words cut through like razors.

"Of course. I still do."

Wonwoo turns to the floor again to shake his head and smile. It's not the kind of smile that would awaken comfort inside of Junhui.

"When's your flight?"

"5 PM."

Wonwoo scoffs before he looks at him again. "Tomorrow?"

Junhui nods.

"Okay, well... this was nice but I'll let you get your sleep now-"

"That's all?"

"What would you want me to say?" Wonwoo shifts on his feet and rests a hand on his hip. "It took everything I had to get over you. I... I just can't do that again. I have to be strong for Soonyoung now... I have to-"

Junhui doesn't really feel like he has the right to ask questions but it's Wonwoo and he misses him. Even now when they're in the same room.

"So, what was this? A habit?" He inquires, regardless.

Wonwoo shrugs, not in an indifferent manner but more like someone who really doesn't have an answer.

"Closure maybe."

The words hit like bullets. They shouldn't hurt as much as they do. It didn't hurt like this for a very long time.

"Good night, Jun."

_Bullet. Bullet. Bullet_. And the door closes behind Wonwoo.

Junhui cries. He can’t help it. He cries himself to sleep because of Wonwoo yet again. And even that tastes bittersweet.

* * *

  
  


Junhui rubs the sleep out of his eyes when he enters the kitchen the next morning. It's the only place in the house from where he could hear sounds, so he automatically decided to go there first.

When he enters, he finds Soonyoung sitting on a barstool at the island in the middle of the kitchen and eating cereal.

"Since when do you eat cereal for breakfast?"

"Good morning," Soonyoung replies cheerfully. "Hansol brought me this stuff last time he visited... I think I became addicted, he sends me boxes of it every now and then."

Junhui lifts his eyebrows. "Sounds intriguing. Can I get some too?"

"Sure. There are bowls up there." He points towards a counter behind him. "And milk in the fridge."

"Thanks." Junhui gets a bowl and fills more than half of it with square-shaped, cinnamon-flavoured, beige pieces of cereal. Then he pours milk over them and sits down on another barstool across from Soonyoung. "Where's everyone else?"

Soonyoung shrugs. "Probably still asleep," he adds. "No one's left their rooms yet... Except for Wonwoo. He had to leave."

"He left?" Junhui tries his best not to sound shocked and disappointed. He's not quite sure if he succeeds at that.

"Yeah... Said he had to be somewhere."

"He didn't even say goodbye?"

Soonyoung shrugs again. "It's no biggie. We all see each other all the time anyway-"

He stops abruptly as if hit by a sudden realisation. " _ Oh. _ "

And Junhui tries _really_ hard not to look disappointed but he knows he's failing this time around.

"Did something happen?" Soonyoung probes slowly. "Did you... talk?"

"Something happened  _ and _ we talked."

"Of course." Soonyoung shakes his head not without a glint of amusement on his face. "You two always had a hard time keeping your hands off each other."

"Maybe it was a mistake," Junhui grunts in response.

"Why?"

"Well, for one he just left today without another word... but he also made it clear that it didn't really mean anything to him. I don't know why I thought we might talk about it in the morning. Talk about us."

He sighs and even though he doesn't look up, he can feel Soonyoung's eyes on him while he chews his cereal.

"It probably meant something," he says once he swallows.

"How would you know?"

Soonyoung scoffs. "I probably know Jeon Wonwoo better than anyone." He looks Junhui dead in the eyes. "No offence."

"None taken... but why do you think that?"

Soonyoung shrugs. "Sex with you always means something to him."

Junhui can feel his face heat up. He almost forgot how straight-forward Soonyoung was. How little privacy there was back in the days. It was normal for the others to talk about their relationship openly and directly. The little intimacy he had with Wonwoo could only happen in hotel rooms on tours or other international travel opportunities. Even then, everyone had their opinions on what they were doing behind closed doors.

"That was 7 years ago. His feelings have changed," Junhui answers in a low tone.

"Have yours?"

"I thought they had... I mean, I'll always love him but I didn't think I was still in love with him after not seeing him for so long."

"But...?" Soonyoung urges.

Junhui lets out a heavy sigh. "But yesterday he walked in and BAM!, I was 24 again and I suddenly felt like there was a tiny person doing cartwheels in my stomach."

Soonyoung grins. "Well, there you go. I'm pretty sure our Wonwoo felt the same. But he has trust issues. And I can't blame him..."

"Soonie, I never wanted to leave him... or any of you guys for that matter."

"I know."

"But I couldn't stay there anymore... you don't know how it was. All the small things. The ways in which we were treated differently, Minghao and I. Inside and outside the company... and then that pandemic. I hadn't been home in years and I had all these opportunities waiting in China... and-"

"I know, Junnie." Soonyoung reaches a hand over the table to pat Junhui lightly. "Nobody's blaming you or any of the other guys who didn't want to re-sign... we really get it. It's just... different for Wonwoo and he understands too. I know he does. He just didn't expect it to be the end of your relationship too, you know."

"I didn't expect it either." He really didn't.

Breaking up with Wonwoo was the last thing he wanted to do when he left Korea once the group's contract expired. He couldn't have just stayed there even if he wanted to. He had a work visa at the time and he had just decided to throw the work away.

He wanted to go back to China anyway. Just to figure it all out. To seize the opportunities that had literally been thrown at him but weren't in the interest of Seventeen as a group at the time - or so the marketing team always said. He just wanted to find out who he was on his own and what he could achieve.

Junhui expected to find work, of course, but he didn't expect how sought-after he had become. Seventeen had really made a name for themselves back then. All of their last albums had sold millions of copies and a lot of those sales came from China. He shouldn't have been as surprised as he was to find out that there was a seemingly endless stream of job opportunities for him. Everyone wanted to be his manager back then. It was overwhelming.

He was in a position where he could turn down work he had dreamed of at the beginning of his career. But he wanted to focus on acting the most, so he took up as many interesting roles as he was offered. As a result, his popularity grew but the time he had available to travel back and forth between Seoul and the various Chinese cities he had to attend events or film movies became rarer with every month.

Junhui remembers that last phone call with Wonwoo as if it was yesterday. They hadn't seen each other in so long and there was no way to tell when they could meet the next time. They both just knew it wouldn't work. But it was not what Junhui wanted. It was _never_ what he chose when he decided to focus on his solo career.

Losing Wonwoo was a consequence, not an intention. And it hurt back then. It hurt many times throughout the years. Deep down he knew that it was the reason why none of his other relationships ever worked out. How could they when Wonwoo kept his heart? Unbeknownst to him.

"But now I've lost him," he adds like a sad afterthought.

He hears Soonyoung's spoon clink against the empty cereal bowl and a deep sigh. He looks up to find Soonyoung look at him with a stern but saddened expression.

"No, Junnie," he starts with another heavy sigh. "I've lost Jihoon. But Wonwoo... you know where to find him. You know what to do if you want to keep him in your life."

"I'm sorry," Junhui retorts in shock over how insensitive he must have sounded. "I didn't-"

"I know. You didn't say anything wrong. It's just-" Soonyoung gulps loudly as if he has to swallow more than just saliva. His voice sounds shakier when he speaks again. "If I could talk to him one more time... If I could have one more hour with him, I would do anything-"

Soonyoung's voice gets cut mid-sentence by an outburst of tears and Junhui doesn't hesitate to get up, walk around the table and wrap his arms around him.

"I'm so sorry, Soonie. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more."

He feels a light tap on his back. "It's okay, really," Soonyoung's voice quivers but it's clear. "But Junnie..."

"Hm?"

"Every minute is precious... If you love him, don't waste your time. 'Until the end of our lives' is not always as long as we'd want it to be."

Junhui lets go of him so that they can look at each other. "But what if he doesn't want me anymore?" He whispers voice laced with insecurity.

"You still have to try. But also, there are three things I know for sure and that's that tigers are cool, Lee Jihoon was a genius and Jeon Wonwoo will always want Wen Junhui."

Junhui chuckles. "Putting it after two things that are universally true, doesn't automatically make it true as well."

"Aha," Soonyoung exclaims slightly more cheerful, although with teary eyes. "So you agree that tigers are cool!"

"I always agreed on that. You know I supported you in that."

"True," he says. "You were always one of my favourites, Junnie."

Junhui snorts. "Ditto! And thank you."

"Thank you for coming here. I know how busy you are."

"Ah, see... I'm thinking about being less busy in the future."

Soonyoung widens his eyes. "Since when?"

"Pretty much since last night." Junhui looks down on his feet to hide a shy smile.

"Damn." Soonyoung purses his lips. "Wonwoo must be really good in bed."

Junhui hits him lightly on the arm. "Shut up. It's not about that..."

"Yeah, yeah... you love him blah blah but you're still here in my kitchen when you should be on your way to confess your love and win him over and whatnot."

"You're unbelievable." Junhui laughs.

"I know."

He doesn’t leave right away. He still wants to see Jeonghan and Seungcheol before he goes. He wants to have lunch with them and properly say goodbye. After all, Wonwoo was not the only person he left back then. 

Junhui leaves the house later in the afternoon and calls a taxi to bring him back to Seoul. Armed with nothing but his coat, his red scarf, his phone and wallet and Wonwoo’s current address on a small piece of paper that Soonyoung had given him earlier that day.

He doesn’t even know if Wonwoo would be at home but he doesn’t care. He’s ready to wait in front of his building or a cafe nearby. No matter how long it took.

When he rings the doorbell, however, Wonwoo’s voice resounds on the other end of the building speaker. “Who’s there?”

“It’s me,” Junhui says in a low tone. “Can I come in?”

“Jun?”

“Yep.”

“Uh… sure... wait a second,” Wonwoo’s voice breaks a little and the door buzzes signalling to Junhui that he could open it.

He would lie if he said he wasn’t nervous. All the way from Soonyoung’s house to the city, he thought about what he wanted to say. He went over various possible conversations they could have. But right now, it seems like he doesn’t remember any of it.

It only gets worse when he gets to the front door of Wonwoo’s apartment. Junhui takes a deep breath before he knocks.

“Hey,” Wonwoo greets him and steps aside just a little so that Junhui can come in.

“Thanks.”

They look at each other for a moment there as if Wonwoo expects an explanation as to why Junhui is there in the first place.

When the silence starts to turn somewhat awkward again, he asks, “Do you want anything to drink?” 

“No,” Junhui deadpans to the back of Wonwoo who was already making his way towards what appears to be the kitchen. 

The apartment is big and small at the same time. It’s spacious for Seoul standards but it’s much smaller than the house Junhui just came from. It’s also slightly smaller than any of his own apartments in China. 

“Okay then,” Wonwoo says when he turns around. There’s a good three meters of space between them now. “So, what brings you here?”

"Do you remember our last phone call?" Junhui blurts out because he remembers that it’s one of the things he had thought about on his way there. "When we were still together?"

Wonwoo's forehead wrinkles in thought, maybe in curiosity. "Yeah?"

"Which one of us said that we should end things?"

"What?"

"Was it me or was it you? Which one of us said we should break up?"

Wonwoo lifts a hand to his forehead and rubs as if in worry. Or perhaps in deep thought. "What does it matter now?"

"It matters," Junhui insists.

"I don't remember," Wonwoo admits. "I don't think it was me."

Junhui grins because he can't help himself. "And it wasn't me either. That's why it matters."

"I don't get it."

"We never really broke up, Wonwoo," Junhui explains. "It had been just over a year that we hadn't seen each other and I announced the new drama I was cast for... so we knew we wouldn't be able to see each other in a while longer. We never even said words that alluded to a break-up... I think we both just understood that that was how things were at the time. I think we just understood at the same time. After we hung up that day, I knew I couldn't just normally call you again the next morning or send you random cat pictures or ask you if you'd eaten... We never ended things and yet, I just knew I didn't have that right anymore. And I think you understood the same."

Wonwoo nods. The frown on his face not quite gone but slowly shifting from confusion to sadness with every word of Junhui's.

"You know how we always felt like it was so crazy that the 13 of us met and came together the way we did? How rare it was to find a group of people like that... with the same dream. The energy that we had, the love we received and our love for each other and for what we did. Seungcheol would always say things like that, how rare it was... how lucky we were. But I think you and I were luckier even than that. I think what we have is rarer. I really do. You know I've had relationships while we were apart..."

"You did?"

"Yeah, oh my god, one of them lasted almost two years," Junhui says with widened eyes. "And I loved him. I really did. But those relationships were like a flickering light... like you said yesterday. The light flickers and it stabilises in between but you just know that it would eventually turn off. You know you need to buy a new light bulb. It was kind of like that. But it was real and I loved them. But you..."

They look into each other's eyes. Not in passing. Not while scanning the room. Just straight eye to eye. With no intention to look away on either side.

"I love you," Junhui almost whines. "I just spent two weeks in Shenzhen but last night when you kissed me, I finally felt home. If I hadn't known you, I might have thought those relationships were the real deal. They felt good enough but I can put them in words and describe them with feelings and I could never do that with you. We were never something that could be understood by the limitations of all the languages we speak between the two of us or the context of this world. We were that thing they write poems about... that thing you analyse until you've deconstructed it entirely and you still can't say what it is but you understand and it's beautiful and it makes you feel like the world is a better place with it in it. My world is a better place with you in it and I'm sorry that it took me so long to come home but I'm here and I love you. More than love, I see you and I know you and I belong to you.”

Wonwoo's widened eyes blink back at him as silence settles between them yet again.

"Your flight is in two hours," he says after a while and Junhui is slightly taken aback. But he won't give up. Not when he's come this far.

"I'm not getting on that flight, Wonwoo," he says louder than he intended.

"What?"

"Things have changed. I can be much pickier about what work I take now and I can afford to have much more time off in between. And I want you to come to China with me more often too... This... Us..." He can't quite form the words so he looks around. He walks over to the light switch and turns it off. When he sees a light coming from the bathroom he takes a few steps towards it and turns it off as well. Then he walks to the front door and opens it. Just a gap.

"What are you doing?" Wonwoo's silhouette questions in the dark.

"I'm leaving the door open," Junhui answers. "On the rest of our lives."

And he can't quite see the full expression on Wonwoo's face from the little light that comes through the front door but he can see a smile. His shoulders automatically relax and immediately tense up again when he sees Wonwoo move towards him.

He doesn't say anything. Instead, he reaches for the scarf around Junhui's neck and carefully takes it off. Then he walks towards the door and wraps the red scarf around the doorknob on the outside before he closes the door again.

And Junhui doesn't have to form any more words when Wonwoo turns the lights back on and smiles at him across the room.

They're going to be fine.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to everyone who read my fics and supported me here, i really appreciate you all :)) and as always if you enjoyed this one, leave kudos and comments, they truly mean a lot!
> 
> [twt](https://twitter.com/wonjunnie)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/wonjunnie)


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